6 hours later

an hour of an uncontrollable, pulsating feeling inside your body. at the onset, this energy grows and doesn't seem to stop building as it courses your blood, skin, nerves and all. it was as if i wanted to yawn; i had the feeling blueprinted across the map we call our nervous system, but the yawn never came. everything's just so damn funny.

two hours, and suddenly time really had no meaning anymore. some people find it impossible to manipulate the 4th dimension--space and time. i think that's incorrect. for two hours, my sense of time (and depth, and reality) was skewed. 2 minutes? 2 hours? who knows anymore. all i know is, i took a path and there's no going back. things aren't as funny, and suddenly something is pressing "slow" and "fast forward" at the same time as they remotely control your life.

three hours of fumbling through the patterns i call my "life." walking, talking, eating, showering, breathing. it was all some part of a greater "game." there's a theory that holds that our universe, as we know it, is just a part of a larger system of universes. that's almost impossible to fathom unless you're where i was. "life," as it was, was no longer exclusively "mine." life was a connection of every spirit, every mol of energy that permeates the temporal world. the death of the ego, some call it. disconnecting yourself from what is "normal."

four hours in, and i was at one with the world. sounds kind of hippyish, but i only tell the truth. to see the true face of reality, the meaning of life, the meaning of living and being and dying--it was all right in front of me. the world, unfortunately, is a mess. a terrible, chaotic mess. and yet somehow, within this disaster, there exists some sliver of beauty. of art. of music. of everything that connects us all. and to know that such beauty can exist--its just a reminder that there are some things worth living for and cherishing. people go about their lives using the same two eyes to see and grasp their reality. after 10, 15, 20, 25 years of age, these eyes are just about all they have to establish meaning in a confused world.

five hours in, and i'm age 0 again. for 4 hours of my life, i abandoned the eyes i knew to be truest to my understanding of the world. it made me long to see the world as i once saw it. as things became clear and lucid as moving water, i realized my eyes were coming into focus again. a 4 hour ocular adjustment. like a child, born again. my car, my house, my family, the 405...everything seemed brand new, and completely novel. you know that feeling you get when you step off the plane, or out of your car, and back home again? you know that breath of relief you make when you finally can say "i'm home"? well, i was just cruising the annexes of space, time, and knowledge. my rocket ship has now landed. "i'm home."

6 hours later. being away for a long time can be an arduous task. in my opinion, we undergo a permanent change when we're "away" for extended periods of time. a part of us dies. that's not to say it's a bad thing; we shed the old layers in order to grow into our newer and more wisened selves. tonight, i underwent a spiritual journey. right now, i can probably remember only about 1% of the infinite wisdom i encountered and wished to bring back. but i'm not going to sit here and try to explain it all. only you, yourself, can acquire this wisdom. where to start? that is a quandary. i suppose if you're not ready for the offerings of the psychedelic world, i guess you can start introspectively. the answers, or at least part of the answers you may be looking towards the universe to answer, is embedded in your cell phone, your hair, the shows you watch, the music you enjoy, the company you keep--taking a closer look at any of these will send you in the right direction. i'm definitely not the same as i was 6 hours ago. a part of what was once essentially "david" has now died. but in its place, a new part was born. what is this part? i don't know. all i know is, it brings a renewed sense of self, and a sincere desire to affect some sort of change, however small, in this disorderly world.


have you guys seen a beautiful mind? or one flew over the cuckoo's nest? or rain man? some people are quick to criticize the eccentric. "drugheads," "daredevils," "retards,"--it's all the same lumped category, and all are easy to brush aside. but who's to say they aren't the sane ones, and everyone else is crazy? i don't think we'll ever know who's right, but i can definitely say i've chosen a side. i think society, as a whole, is on the verge of homogenization once again. shitty hip hop, guns, nukes, mcdonalds....you see these everywhere now. we need to train ourselves mentally and physically, now more than ever, if we are to touch upon the spirit of the 1960's counterculture, and battle the 8 years of cloudy disillusionment left by an incompetent president. ghandi said it best: "be the change you want to see in the world." will do, sir.



- david (?)