Hi everzbodz,
I had a long conversation last night with Uncle Herbert and Tante Chau, along with familz friends Engall and Theodora. Iäm heading out now. Iäm spending the next three dazs planning mz trips, hostels, getting mz backpack readz, and iäm gonna be backpacking around Europe for the next two months. There is no other time than now for me, and Iäve stazed here long enough to spend time with mz familz and see how it is here. But Iäm taking a big ass step for mzself..i keep learning here, and iäd have to saz the biggest thing iäve learned here is how little i actuallz know about how i can handle mzself. I was never raised to reallz believe in mzself when it comes down to it, mz parents never believed I could pull anzthing off. So Iäm taking loans from Uncle Herbert and Engall, and if possible from another familz member. Iäm planning mz itinerarz, and Iäm going to head out bz mzself for a while to see how things go. I miss all zou guzs, and I do enjoz reading anzthing posted on this blog. Take care errbodz, Iäll cza guzs soon 8-)
Monday, July 21, 2008
Saturday, July 19, 2008
my buddy
hey everybody. Yesterday i went to James' wake. When I got there the funeral home was packed and full of familiar faces. This past week i've been sort of in my own world--in irvine. it was good to finally talk to people who knew and loved James.
After an hour or so of praying, everyone lined up to view his body. it took awile since sooo many people were there. i spent some time next to him, said my goodbyes, hugged his sisters and mom and started to walk down the aisle, out of the chapel. It hit me. a wave of shock and grief washed over me and i started to cry. i sat next to my friend andrew as i tried to calm myself down. "Are you angry?", Andrew asked. "You have no idea", I replied. He nodded and put his arm around me. I calmed down and he said, "If you had seen him last week, you wouldn't be mad".
I'm sure he was suffering. And i'm sure he's in a better place.
Today was his funeral. the church was packed--maybe 250-300 people showed up. i played guitar in the band. it was beautiful. truely a celebration of his extraordinary life.
speaking of which--the dean of medicine at USC called his girlfriend and left a message. They want to dedicate an award after him called the James Le award. the award will go to a student who exemplifies the same traits that James did--dedication to family, academic accomplishment, and contribution to community. They're also creating a scholorship fund in his name which will award money to someone displaying "jamesisms".
anyways, i'll be alright, the world will be fine, lets do fun stuff.
After an hour or so of praying, everyone lined up to view his body. it took awile since sooo many people were there. i spent some time next to him, said my goodbyes, hugged his sisters and mom and started to walk down the aisle, out of the chapel. It hit me. a wave of shock and grief washed over me and i started to cry. i sat next to my friend andrew as i tried to calm myself down. "Are you angry?", Andrew asked. "You have no idea", I replied. He nodded and put his arm around me. I calmed down and he said, "If you had seen him last week, you wouldn't be mad".
I'm sure he was suffering. And i'm sure he's in a better place.
Today was his funeral. the church was packed--maybe 250-300 people showed up. i played guitar in the band. it was beautiful. truely a celebration of his extraordinary life.
speaking of which--the dean of medicine at USC called his girlfriend and left a message. They want to dedicate an award after him called the James Le award. the award will go to a student who exemplifies the same traits that James did--dedication to family, academic accomplishment, and contribution to community. They're also creating a scholorship fund in his name which will award money to someone displaying "jamesisms".
anyways, i'll be alright, the world will be fine, lets do fun stuff.
Friday, July 18, 2008
I have more time
This is where I have breakfast
Nice taxis here :)
Dad on the right, mom afterwards, chillin in Konigsforst
OH NEIN DER POLIZEI!!
nice limo bus in barcelona haha
Nice taxis here :)
Dad on the right, mom afterwards, chillin in Konigsforst
OH NEIN DER POLIZEI!!
nice limo bus in barcelona haha
Dreiss
Koln Hauptbahnhoff
Barcelona Main Station
Barcelona Main Station
Bonn on a rainy day
Maastricht, Netherlands flea market
A big, big, big fucking vending machine in the metro in Barcelona
Barcelona
Barcelona from the top of a cathedral
Maastricht, Netherlands flea market
A big, big, big fucking vending machine in the metro in Barcelona
Barcelona
Barcelona from the top of a cathedral
Mom on the right
Dad on the right, My Tante Chao on the far left, Herr Lambert in the middle
Frau Lambert
Herr Lambert
Dad on the right, My Tante Chao on the far left, Herr Lambert in the middle
Frau Lambert
Herr Lambert
my work!!
The steps I've been working on. I finished em! I'll take a picture of the finished steps later
Skating around the Rhine
On the S-Bahn train into Koln
Yayayayaya
A Bistro hahahaha
The Dom
A neighbor's party, where i broke my first Kolsch glass. Failure hahaha
My room in the attic!
Tom, when we were on our way to the Rhine to play soccer and have a picnic
The steps I've been working on. I finished em! I'll take a picture of the finished steps later
Skating around the Rhine
On the S-Bahn train into Koln
Yayayayaya
A Bistro hahahaha
The Dom
A neighbor's party, where i broke my first Kolsch glass. Failure hahaha
My room in the attic!
Tom, when we were on our way to the Rhine to play soccer and have a picnic
Taka Tak on the airplane
Thursday, July 17, 2008
positive things
so my roommate claire and i decided we needed a lot more positive energy in our lives, and started this summer project thing. check it out if you have some time. we'd love your comments and/or contributions. i know you guys never made those lists, but this is something close.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
6 hours later
an hour of an uncontrollable, pulsating feeling inside your body. at the onset, this energy grows and doesn't seem to stop building as it courses your blood, skin, nerves and all. it was as if i wanted to yawn; i had the feeling blueprinted across the map we call our nervous system, but the yawn never came. everything's just so damn funny.
two hours, and suddenly time really had no meaning anymore. some people find it impossible to manipulate the 4th dimension--space and time. i think that's incorrect. for two hours, my sense of time (and depth, and reality) was skewed. 2 minutes? 2 hours? who knows anymore. all i know is, i took a path and there's no going back. things aren't as funny, and suddenly something is pressing "slow" and "fast forward" at the same time as they remotely control your life.
three hours of fumbling through the patterns i call my "life." walking, talking, eating, showering, breathing. it was all some part of a greater "game." there's a theory that holds that our universe, as we know it, is just a part of a larger system of universes. that's almost impossible to fathom unless you're where i was. "life," as it was, was no longer exclusively "mine." life was a connection of every spirit, every mol of energy that permeates the temporal world. the death of the ego, some call it. disconnecting yourself from what is "normal."
four hours in, and i was at one with the world. sounds kind of hippyish, but i only tell the truth. to see the true face of reality, the meaning of life, the meaning of living and being and dying--it was all right in front of me. the world, unfortunately, is a mess. a terrible, chaotic mess. and yet somehow, within this disaster, there exists some sliver of beauty. of art. of music. of everything that connects us all. and to know that such beauty can exist--its just a reminder that there are some things worth living for and cherishing. people go about their lives using the same two eyes to see and grasp their reality. after 10, 15, 20, 25 years of age, these eyes are just about all they have to establish meaning in a confused world.
five hours in, and i'm age 0 again. for 4 hours of my life, i abandoned the eyes i knew to be truest to my understanding of the world. it made me long to see the world as i once saw it. as things became clear and lucid as moving water, i realized my eyes were coming into focus again. a 4 hour ocular adjustment. like a child, born again. my car, my house, my family, the 405...everything seemed brand new, and completely novel. you know that feeling you get when you step off the plane, or out of your car, and back home again? you know that breath of relief you make when you finally can say "i'm home"? well, i was just cruising the annexes of space, time, and knowledge. my rocket ship has now landed. "i'm home."
6 hours later. being away for a long time can be an arduous task. in my opinion, we undergo a permanent change when we're "away" for extended periods of time. a part of us dies. that's not to say it's a bad thing; we shed the old layers in order to grow into our newer and more wisened selves. tonight, i underwent a spiritual journey. right now, i can probably remember only about 1% of the infinite wisdom i encountered and wished to bring back. but i'm not going to sit here and try to explain it all. only you, yourself, can acquire this wisdom. where to start? that is a quandary. i suppose if you're not ready for the offerings of the psychedelic world, i guess you can start introspectively. the answers, or at least part of the answers you may be looking towards the universe to answer, is embedded in your cell phone, your hair, the shows you watch, the music you enjoy, the company you keep--taking a closer look at any of these will send you in the right direction. i'm definitely not the same as i was 6 hours ago. a part of what was once essentially "david" has now died. but in its place, a new part was born. what is this part? i don't know. all i know is, it brings a renewed sense of self, and a sincere desire to affect some sort of change, however small, in this disorderly world.
have you guys seen a beautiful mind? or one flew over the cuckoo's nest? or rain man? some people are quick to criticize the eccentric. "drugheads," "daredevils," "retards,"--it's all the same lumped category, and all are easy to brush aside. but who's to say they aren't the sane ones, and everyone else is crazy? i don't think we'll ever know who's right, but i can definitely say i've chosen a side. i think society, as a whole, is on the verge of homogenization once again. shitty hip hop, guns, nukes, mcdonalds....you see these everywhere now. we need to train ourselves mentally and physically, now more than ever, if we are to touch upon the spirit of the 1960's counterculture, and battle the 8 years of cloudy disillusionment left by an incompetent president. ghandi said it best: "be the change you want to see in the world." will do, sir.
- david (?)
two hours, and suddenly time really had no meaning anymore. some people find it impossible to manipulate the 4th dimension--space and time. i think that's incorrect. for two hours, my sense of time (and depth, and reality) was skewed. 2 minutes? 2 hours? who knows anymore. all i know is, i took a path and there's no going back. things aren't as funny, and suddenly something is pressing "slow" and "fast forward" at the same time as they remotely control your life.
three hours of fumbling through the patterns i call my "life." walking, talking, eating, showering, breathing. it was all some part of a greater "game." there's a theory that holds that our universe, as we know it, is just a part of a larger system of universes. that's almost impossible to fathom unless you're where i was. "life," as it was, was no longer exclusively "mine." life was a connection of every spirit, every mol of energy that permeates the temporal world. the death of the ego, some call it. disconnecting yourself from what is "normal."
four hours in, and i was at one with the world. sounds kind of hippyish, but i only tell the truth. to see the true face of reality, the meaning of life, the meaning of living and being and dying--it was all right in front of me. the world, unfortunately, is a mess. a terrible, chaotic mess. and yet somehow, within this disaster, there exists some sliver of beauty. of art. of music. of everything that connects us all. and to know that such beauty can exist--its just a reminder that there are some things worth living for and cherishing. people go about their lives using the same two eyes to see and grasp their reality. after 10, 15, 20, 25 years of age, these eyes are just about all they have to establish meaning in a confused world.
five hours in, and i'm age 0 again. for 4 hours of my life, i abandoned the eyes i knew to be truest to my understanding of the world. it made me long to see the world as i once saw it. as things became clear and lucid as moving water, i realized my eyes were coming into focus again. a 4 hour ocular adjustment. like a child, born again. my car, my house, my family, the 405...everything seemed brand new, and completely novel. you know that feeling you get when you step off the plane, or out of your car, and back home again? you know that breath of relief you make when you finally can say "i'm home"? well, i was just cruising the annexes of space, time, and knowledge. my rocket ship has now landed. "i'm home."
6 hours later. being away for a long time can be an arduous task. in my opinion, we undergo a permanent change when we're "away" for extended periods of time. a part of us dies. that's not to say it's a bad thing; we shed the old layers in order to grow into our newer and more wisened selves. tonight, i underwent a spiritual journey. right now, i can probably remember only about 1% of the infinite wisdom i encountered and wished to bring back. but i'm not going to sit here and try to explain it all. only you, yourself, can acquire this wisdom. where to start? that is a quandary. i suppose if you're not ready for the offerings of the psychedelic world, i guess you can start introspectively. the answers, or at least part of the answers you may be looking towards the universe to answer, is embedded in your cell phone, your hair, the shows you watch, the music you enjoy, the company you keep--taking a closer look at any of these will send you in the right direction. i'm definitely not the same as i was 6 hours ago. a part of what was once essentially "david" has now died. but in its place, a new part was born. what is this part? i don't know. all i know is, it brings a renewed sense of self, and a sincere desire to affect some sort of change, however small, in this disorderly world.
have you guys seen a beautiful mind? or one flew over the cuckoo's nest? or rain man? some people are quick to criticize the eccentric. "drugheads," "daredevils," "retards,"--it's all the same lumped category, and all are easy to brush aside. but who's to say they aren't the sane ones, and everyone else is crazy? i don't think we'll ever know who's right, but i can definitely say i've chosen a side. i think society, as a whole, is on the verge of homogenization once again. shitty hip hop, guns, nukes, mcdonalds....you see these everywhere now. we need to train ourselves mentally and physically, now more than ever, if we are to touch upon the spirit of the 1960's counterculture, and battle the 8 years of cloudy disillusionment left by an incompetent president. ghandi said it best: "be the change you want to see in the world." will do, sir.
- david (?)
Friday, July 11, 2008
train your brain
So today i had a 2nd interview at this place called LearningRX. It's pretty interesting stuff they do. They basically train kids to improve their cognitive abilities (logic,problem solving, pattern recognition, etc.) to learn more efficiently. But yeah the interview wasn't really an interview. For 45 min or so I just did these test. Math tests, logic tests, word soundy out backwards tests, rhythm tests. It was really interesting and some were actually quite challenging. But yeah so far so good.
I need to complete 20 hours, or is it 10? hours of training and then 10 hours of observation. After that I have to do a mock training session with the lady who's hiring me and if that goes well I shall officially be Michael Chao: Cognitive Trainer. I'm a little nervous though because they said if I don't do well in training I'm gonna get cut, but yarb, I think I start getting trained on Monday soooooo we'll see how that goes.
In other news my entire body hurts. I did a conditioning class yesterday morning and pushed it pretty hard. I actually semi barfed which is always a good sign that you're doing work I guess haha. Then I went back in the evening for jiu jitsu and yeeeeeeahh boyeeeee. I hurt so good.
Chaozzzzzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I need to complete 20 hours, or is it 10? hours of training and then 10 hours of observation. After that I have to do a mock training session with the lady who's hiring me and if that goes well I shall officially be Michael Chao: Cognitive Trainer. I'm a little nervous though because they said if I don't do well in training I'm gonna get cut, but yarb, I think I start getting trained on Monday soooooo we'll see how that goes.
In other news my entire body hurts. I did a conditioning class yesterday morning and pushed it pretty hard. I actually semi barfed which is always a good sign that you're doing work I guess haha. Then I went back in the evening for jiu jitsu and yeeeeeeahh boyeeeee. I hurt so good.
Chaozzzzzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Thursday, July 10, 2008
everyone likes pictures
sup friends, so I just got back to school today. peter had these stacks of photos he brought up from home. gold mine of stuff from high school. these are just some of them, enjoy:
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